Doubting Days

On days like today, I want to stop homeschooling and pretend I never started. I want someone else to take the responsibility of teaching my children and I want them to be accountable to someone else. I want someone else to not accept their bad penmanship and make them write it over again. I want someone else to mark their math questions and sigh that it’s the same mistake over and over again. I want someone else to get their stares and groans and moans and I want someone else to watch them sulk back to their chairs to fix their mistakes.

I know tomorrow will be different. I know tomorrow God will fill me with his grace and presence that I’m sure is there today but I’m too irritable to see it. Maybe tomorrow I will sleep in a little and be thankful to not be getting the boys up and off to school. Maybe we’ll start the day with pancakes and hot chocolate and read a funny story together. Maybe we’ll enjoy a nice hot lunch while watching The Price is Right and I’ll be thankful that they’re with me at home and we can laugh and talk. Maybe the learning that hasn’t been going well will suddently click and we can move on. Maybe the sun will be shining and we can go for a walk outside and hear birds chirping and lawnmowers humming and talk about the upcoming election and what to plant in our garden.

Tomorrow will be different but for the rest of today I would just like to eat a big piece of chocolate cake!

If you are having doubting days, please share and perhaps we can encourage each other!

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