Doubting Days

On days like today, I want to stop homeschooling and pretend I never started. I want someone else to take the responsibility of teaching my children and I want them to be accountable to someone else. I want someone else to not accept their bad penmanship and make them write it over again. I want someone else to mark their math questions and sigh that it’s the same mistake over and over again. I want someone else to get their stares and groans and moans and I want someone else to watch them sulk back to their chairs to fix their mistakes.

I know tomorrow will be different. I know tomorrow God will fill me with his grace and presence that I’m sure is there today but I’m too irritable to see it. Maybe tomorrow I will sleep in a little and be thankful to not be getting the boys up and off to school. Maybe we’ll start the day with pancakes and hot chocolate and read a funny story together. Maybe we’ll enjoy a nice hot lunch while watching The Price is Right and I’ll be thankful that they’re with me at home and we can laugh and talk. Maybe the learning that hasn’t been going well will suddently click and we can move on. Maybe the sun will be shining and we can go for a walk outside and hear birds chirping and lawnmowers humming and talk about the upcoming election and what to plant in our garden.

Tomorrow will be different but for the rest of today I would just like to eat a big piece of chocolate cake!

If you are having doubting days, please share and perhaps we can encourage each other!

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A New Year of Homeschooling

Next week marks a return for me to homeschooling both of my kids. My 16 year old went to high school for grade ten and the first part of grade eleven but we pulled him out before Christmas break because it was becoming a toxic environment for him. This is the first time in eleven years of homeschooling that I have felt nervous. I don’t know if it’s residual anxiety from the process of pulling him out of school or anxiety over the sibling rivalry that I have mostly avoided with one gone all day.

My boys learn in completely different ways. One is a book learner that read early, the other is a hands-on learner that hates to read. Both hate practicing, repetition, and review, but maybe that’s common to everyone (we all just have to learn that we need to do it I guess). The oldest loves history and Shakespeare and is critical of 99% of things he comes across. The youngest is good at math and science but has willed himself to hate anything that seems “educational”. Somehow we had a great homeschool experience and it was an adjustment to only have one at home, but now we’re having to flip back. I’m not sure I’m ready!

I’m also in full-on high school mode, with the youngest turning 15 in March. Time to plan and move into high school credits and documentation and doing what needs to be done for post-secondary. We are lucky to have a great facilitator who will be back in the spring for a visit, this time with both kids. But a month ago I was preparing myself for having both kids gone all day and now it’s a complete turnover to be planning to have them both at home. I’m so grateful! But I’m so scared!

In the end I know all that matters is that we follow God’s plan for us. If it takes the boys four years to finish high school instead of three, that’s fine. If they have to upgrade, that’s fine too. As long as they follow their hearts and continue to learn, then I’ve done okay.

I wish all of you a fantastic homeschooling year!

First Day of School

What did you do for the first day of “school”? Most of the schools in our community had their first day today and I saw lots of photos on Facebook of kids going back. Even though we’re homeschooling I love seeing those photos! My husband took today off of work so we all went out for lunch and then went to see Ghostbusters which is back in theatres just for a week to celebrate its 30th anniversary. Tomorrow we will start our homeschool year and I can’t wait!